Recipe: Jello Recipe

This is more of a joke, but if you REALLY wanted to make Jello from scratch, here it is.
Ingredients/Equipment:

  • 3-5 lbs of cow parts (bones, skin, hooves, etc)
  • Sharp Knife
  • Power saw or surgical-grade bone saw
  • colander
  • power washer
  • large kettle (4-5 gallon)
  • roasting pan
  • two very large plastic vats (25 gallon)
  • 20 gallons of lime
  • 20 gallons of 4% HCL solution
  • distilled water
  • slotted spoon
  • microwave
  • cheese-cloth
  • food dehydrator
  • food processor
  • Kool-aid mix

Preparation time:  1 week

  1. Gather up the cow pieces such as skin, hooves, bones (often-times available from a slaughterhouse or local butcher).  Ensure they are fresh.
  2. Cut the parts into small 5 inch wide pieces.  Use a sharp knife on the tissue/skin.  For the bones, use a power saw or bone-saw.
  3. Place the pieces into a large colander.  Put in the backyard and throughly wash all of it off with a power washer.  (Don’t want any remaining blood or gristle)
  4. Put the cleaned pieces into a bit pot and soak them in boiling water for about 5 hours.  After 5 hours of boiling, the fat will be floating at the top of the pot.  Skim it off and throw it away.
  5. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees farenheit.  Place the clean, fat-free bones and skin in a roasting pan and bake them for 30 minutes.
  6. Go back to the backyard, get a very large plastic vat (25 gallons) and fill it with lime and toss in the animal parts.  This will help in the decomposing of certain materials and will help remove the unwanted minerals and organic body chemicals from the cow parts.  Let it soak in the lime for about 2 days.
  7. Get another plastic vat (25 gallons) and fill it with the 4% hydrochloric acid (HCL) solution.  The will help release the collagen from the animal products.  Put all the parts into the solution and leave in the vat for 3 days.
  8. After removing the pieces from the acid bath, take the pieces back inside and throw them in a large kettle and boil them in distilled water.  Using a slotted spoon, skim off any chunks that rise to the surface.  This is waterlogged gelatin.
  9. Sterilize the gelatin by putting the collected gelatin in the microwave for 30 seconds.
  10. Strain the gelatin through a cheesecloth to filter out any remaining bone/skin/meat remnants that might have been attached to the gelatin.
  11. Separate the semi-solid gelatin from the liquid by drying it out.  Put the gelatin in a food dehydrator for approximately 24 hours.
  12. Scrape the dried gelatin out of the dehydrator and put it in a food processor.  Grind it into a powder.  Mix it with some powdered flavoring (e.g. Kool aid mix).  Add in hot water and let it stand in the refrigerator for a few hours.  You now have flavored Jello!

Or
Purchase for $0.59 a package of Jello dessert mix and follow the instructions.